The Cautionary Tale Of Numero Cinco

 

Security guard unlocks a chain link fence, walks down dark alley, waving his flashlight. There’s a noise; he turns and goes down some dark stairs, radioing in that he’s found an open basement door. He starts in and someone jumps out; turns out it’s a plumber fixing a pipe. The guard radios that all is clear and turns to go back up the stairs when the plumber is literally thrown back down at him, screaming. The guard rushes up, is attacked by something, and falls the ground. He backs away, screaming, but it doesn’t deter his attacker; you see the silhouette of someone large hacking away at the guard’s body.

Cut to Wolfram & Hart. The ubiquitous mail cart man, his cart filled with files, envelopes, and such, is shuffling down the hall in his mask. You clearly see the number 5 on his mask. He stops at a desk, and the woman drops an envelope in his basket. As he’s moving down the hall, Lorne comes up the stairs and accosts him, asking his opinion on a birthday card.

The mail cart pusher- only his eyes and mouth visible through the mask- seems befuddled and irritated and says nothing. Lorne spots Fred coming in their direction and snags her, asking for her opinion. She suggests he skip the card and send flowers, dropping another envelope in the card as she turns to go. Lorne shouts his thanks and they all move off.

Inside Angel’s office, he’s signing documents with a fountain pen. The ink is red, and he pauses for a moment, wondering if it’s blood. Gunn tells him that all the Wolfram & Hart documents require a signature in blood, and not to worry- it’s Angel’s. This seems to placate Angel slightly. When they’re done, Charles rattles off a list of what they’ve just accomplished- bankrupting a company dumping demon waste into the bay, banished a clan of pyro-warlocks to a Hell dimension, and started a home for children whose parents have been killed by vampires. Angel seems less than enthused, and Gunn assures him that although what they’re doing now isn’t as glorious as rescuing damsels in distress, it’s still for the good, and for the first time in his life, Gunn can’t wait to get to work every morning. He tells Angel that now he’s got his own super powers.

Spike interjects, dripping with sarcasm and offering to trade special powers, two for one- they can walk through walls and pick up mugs in exchange for him not being dead. Angel wishes Spike weren’t there, and Spike drawls about “if wishes were horses…” Angel merely gets up and goes to the window, brooding.

Gunn assures him that although Angel may not like working there, things are going well, and they’ve done more good in a month than Angel Investigations did in a year. Angel agrees, but admits he’s feeling disconnected from it all.

Spike is incredulous. Angel is living the high life and he’s moaning about feeling “disconnected” while Spike is stuck being a ghost, no touch or taste or smell- that’s disconnected. As he goes on, the masked man pushing his mail cart enters the conference room; Spike notices him and remarks that okay, there may be a fate worse than his….

Gunn sympathizes with Angel, admitting that he misses getting his hands dirty just as Wesley comes walking in with a piece of paper. Turns out three people have turned up with their hearts cut out in East L.A. within the last couple of hours. The police are on it, but Wes thinks its demonic rather than human mischief.

Across the room, in the shadows, the masked mail carrier raises his head, recognition in his eyes.

Gunn thinks they should check it out, and notices the masked mail man pushing his cart out of the room. He calls after him that he missed one, and Angel takes the envelope from him, saying he’ll take care of it. He jogs into the hall after the masked employee, finally forced to grab him by the arm to get his attention. With a swift movement the masked mail man grabs Angel and effortlessly throws him through a nearby window. Then he gets his cart and moves off.
Angel’s disembodied voice floats over the shattered wall. “I really hate this place.”

Opening credits.

Angel is on the floor as the others rush in to see if he’s okay. At his admission that it was the mail guy, Spike is nearly in hysterics (“Isn’t he like a hundred years old?”) Gunn locks down the building and orders security to find the mail guy. Spike starts putting his own spin on things, telling Fred that Angel attacked the old mail guy, at which she’s aghast- “Not Number Five!”

Angel attempts to defend his image and denies he attacked the masked man, that he was the one attacked. Spike wants to buy the man a pint for making his day. Security rings Gunn and lets him know they found him and are escorting him off the premises; Gunn confirms that Angel *does* want to fire him, to which Angel seems unsure but defers to both Gunn and Wes’s opinions that he should.

Lorne comes in, gaping at the mess and amazed that the rumors are true. Spike continues to glibly spin the story (“Angel went right off on the mail guy”) as Angel continues to try and explain what happened. Lorne assures Angel the P.R. guys are on it, and that they can turn this event into gold; Spike once again has his two cents (“The geriatric community will be soiling their nappies when they hear you’re on the case- bravo.”).

Angel has had enough and redirects the focus to the bodies Wesley was talking about. Already there’s a fourth added to the tally- at a church after All Souls Mass. Turns out today is the Mexican Day of the Dead.

Cut to Angel driving a convertible, Spike riding in front, Gunn and Wes in the backseat. When Wesley asks how Spike got to ride in the front, he replies he called shotgun, which deflates Wes; he takes out his sawed-off shotgun and muses he thought they were doing a weapons check. Gunn whips out his axe (YAY! Haven’t seen that toy in a while!) and replies there’s nothing wrong with that, and they may need them.

Wesley begins to give Angel directions when Angel abruptly slams on the brakes, skidding the car around to a stop and getting out without a word, leaving Wes, Gunn, and Spike sitting befuddled in their seats. Spike mutters that Angel was always a bit of a drama queen.

The trio follow Angel, finding him in an alley standing over a body. Gunn wonders if Angel heard the scream; Angel looks uncomfortable and walks away as Wesley kneels over the dead man. Spike explains to Gunn that Angel smelled the blood. Gunn observes that they always seem to end up in a bad part of town in the middle of the night as Wesley discovers the heart has been cut out of the body- while the heart was still beating. Things are still fresh and they theorize that who/whatever did this must be close as Spike turns around and spots the perpetrator less than 10 feet behind them. He’s a primitive warrior-looking demon, vaguely human but grotesquely malformed. Angel attacks it, and it beats him aside easily. Wesley fires at it to no avail, getting tossed on his head for his trouble. Gunn whacks at it with his axe and scores, but is taken by surprise when the beast turns on him. He mutters that next time he better hang on to the axe as it attacks. Spike tries to help but is unable to even pick up a two by four laying on the ground.

Gunn gets his axe back but the demon swats him aside anyway. Angel gets up and starts after the demon but it pushes a garbage dumpster at him; by the time Angel recovers its gone.

Back at Wolfram & Hart Gunn has turned his blade over to Fred to run tests. Spike wanders in after Gunn leaves, grumbling about putting as much distance between himself and “General Grumpypants” as possible. Fred smiles at this, saying Angel gets that way sometimes; it’s not easy being a champion, as Spike knows. Spike insists he *doesn’t* know, which takes Fred back. She starts listing his recent good deeds, and Spike says he didn’t do much- just waited for the fire to come, nothing much heroic about that. Fred sighs that he saved her life, and Spike seems startled that she sees it that way. She smiles and goes back to work as Spike looks thoughtful.

In his office, Wesley is doing research on their attacker. He has several assistants working with him. He picks up a book, says something to it, and opens it; Mayan pictograms fade into view on the pages. Angel comes in and asks how they’re doing, and Wesley explains his focus on pre-Hispanic Meso-American texts. Angel seems at odds, not sure what to do, rambling on a bit before wandering off to go to his office. Wesley goes back to work and finds Spike reading over his shoulder a few moments later.

Spike asks about the book of prophesies, referring specifically to the Shanshu prophecy. He drags some more information out of Wesley, and you can see the wheels turning in Spike’s head. When Wes dismisses the idea that it could be Spike the Shanshu refers to, Spike shares that it’s all rubbish anyway- or at least Angel thinks so. Wes looks alarmed at this.

One of Wesley’s assistants has completed a portrait of the demon, and he goes to approve it. Spike wanders over to the prophesy book, touching it with his fingers almost wistfully.

In Angel’s office Wes is briefing Angel on the demon while Spike lurks. It’s an Aztec warrior, has been here before, 50 years ago, and was defeated by five brothers, champions of their time. The brothers were all killed except one. Angel wants to go talk to the surviving brother, and wonders if Wes has his number. Looking slightly bemused, Wes admits they do.

Angel is knocking on a shabby-looking apartment door. After a moment it opens, revealing…. Number Five, the masked mail carrier. Angel seems taken aback, then recovers and says simply, “Hi.”

Number Five grabs Angel and slams him into the wall, whereupon Angel snaps at him to stop doing that. Number Five thinks perhaps he wasn’t clear the last time, and Angel breaks free, grabs Number Five, and pins him against the opposite wall. Number Five thought Angel was going to drag him into the quest for the Aztec demon, and Angel informs him that he was just trying to give him some mail.

Number Five looks suitably abashed and apologizes. Angel then says that NOW he’s going to drag him into the quest, tossing Number Five across the room and then asking for his help. Number Five insists he’s retired and can’t/won’t help, that only a fool wants to be a champion. When Angel asks if that’s what he thinks of his brothers, Number Five backhands him, warning him not to disrespect their memory. They were luchadores, Mexican wrestlers, and honorable men, known as the Number Brothers. Angel wanders over to the shrine Number Five has set up in a corner, filled with candles, photos, memorabilia, and various other items. Angel picks up a photo of the brothers, all masked and wearing suits and ties.

Flashback to the brothers’ younger days, fighting in a wrestling ring. They battle with the typical high-risk style of luchadores- flying leaps, twisting jumps, flashy moves. They were revered and honored for their skills, not only in the ring, but against evil. They were more than just luchadores- they were champions, always vigilant, helping the helpless.

Angel murmurs that he knows something about that.

Number Five goes on, talking about how they were always together, how those were the happiest days of their lives. They wore the masks always as a symbol of their constant readiness. (In the flashback, Number Five takes a phone call, telling the brothers that the Devil has built a robot. They all drop what they are doing and rush out in unison with a cry of “Andele!”)

Number Five asks Angel is he’s heard of their great victory over the Devil’s Robot. Angel looks thoughtful and replies no, to which Number Five sighs that nobody remembers the good stuff. Angel asks about the Aztec warrior, and Number Five says he can’t remember how they killed it. Angel retorts that maybe Number Five doesn’t CARE. Number Five says he tried to carry on, but eventually the people stopped calling- and then someone from Wolfram & Hart came to him. Even though Wolfram & Hart was everything they despised, nothing mattered after he buried his brothers. Every year he puts together an altar for his brothers on the Day of the Dead, and every year they don’t come, because he is not worthy. But it doesn’t matter, not anymore; he should have died with his brothers.

Angel tells him that he got stuck with the hard part, carrying on, and its no wonder his brothers don’t come; he’s quit. He wants to know why Number Five stopped caring, and Number Five takes him to a wrestling venue.

A play action is happening in the ring; one man and five midgets are wrestling. Number Five sighs that his brothers gave their lives for these people, and now their memory is a farce. Angel says maybe he expects too much from people. Number Five wants to know why they bothered, what difference they made, and Angel tells him they did it because it was the right thing to do. They do it because they can, they know how; not for whether people remember them or not. That the work is the reward.

He turns to Number Five- and he’s gone.

Back at Wolfram & Hart, Gunn and Wesley are going over the research and the files of the murdered victims, trying to discern the warrior demon’s M.O. Wesley wonders if Angel seems alright to Gunn, and Gunn replies he seems fine, just a little disconnected, that he’ll be better doing his hero thing… he stops and suddenly the pieces fall into place. All the people the Aztec warrior have killed are heroes.

Angel walks outside the wrestling club, looking for Number Five; he finally spots him on a bus and sighs “So much for my stirring speech”. When he turns around the Aztec warrior attacks him, basically pinning Angel to a car with his sword. He takes out his crude knife and starts toward Angel but suddenly backs off, withdrawing his sword from Angel’s gut and vanishing, leaving Angel wounded on the car.

Back at the office Angel is explaining why the theory of the warrior eating the hearts of heroes is a bust, since the warrior didn’t eat HIS. Wes attempts to soothe Angel’s wounded ego, explaining that the warrior needs the hearts for sustenance. Gunn pipes in that Angel’s heart is basically a dried up hunk of beef jerky, to which Angel retorts that if you stick a piece of wood in it he still dies, that must mean SOMETHING. He winces and sits down.

Wesley, getting annoyed, asks that they get back to how to kill the demon, rather than why it didn’t kill Angel. Angel looks contrite as Gunn asks if Number Five dropped any hints about how he and his brothers defeated the warrior. Angel looks thoughtful, and goes completely off topic and asks Wes if he’s ever heard if the Devil built a robot. Gunn looks irritated as Wesley replies “El Diablo Robotico. Why?” Angel sighs that nobody ever tells him anything.

Gunn goes to check on some leads on contracts that might lead to the demon and how to destroy it, leaving Wes and Angel alone. Wes perches on a chair arm and talks to Angel about how his heart isn’t in the work recently. He thinks Angel has lost hope that the work has meaning. Angel says that sure it does, they save people’s lives, and Wesley replies that it’s lost meaning for ANGEL, that Spike told him Angel no longer believes in the Shanshu prophecy.

Angel turns to face him and states that after everything they’ve seen in the last couple of years that prophesies are bunk. He mentions the “Father will kill the Son” prophesy, and Wes frowns, having no clue what he’s talking about. Angel suddenly seems to remember that Wesley would have no memory of that, since it involved Connor. Wes tells him that hope is the only thing that will keep him from becoming like Number Five.

The phone rings; it’s Fred, and she has info on the demon. Angel walks out, leaving Wesley looking vaguely troubled.

Down in the lab, Fred is explaining about how the hearts and blood of the victims sustains and enhances the Aztec warrior. Spike interjects that even though the creature is nearly invulnerable, he could kill it- if he weren’t a ghost. Everything has an Achilles’ heel, and he figures since this thing has to eat hearts to stay alive, if they take it’s heart that will kill it. Fred asks if he sees it in the science, and Spike replied that it’s in the poetry.

Gunn comes in with a contract. Apparently they can kill the beast, but it’ll be back in 50 years regardless. The demon is looking for a talisman that it made thousands of years ago that will make it super powerful, that was given to a champion and passed down through the generations. Gunn describes the talisman, and Angel realizes he’s seen it- in Number Five’s apartment.

He leaves without a word, and Spike points after him- “See? Drama Queen!”

Angel goes to Number Five’s apartment, and discovers it empty, the altar to the brothers gone. He heads out.

Cut to a cemetery. Number Five has set up his altar on the grave of his brothers, summoning the Aztec warrior with the talisman. Angel shows up and tells Number Five to hand over the talisman, and Number Five insists he doesn’t have it. Frustrated, Angel goes through the items on the monument, knocking things over and demanding the talisman. Number Five observes that Angel is very strange; Angel retorts that he’s not the one wearing a mask and standing in a cemetery in the middle of the night. Number Five warns that he will be.

Angel looks over Number Five’s shoulder and sees the Aztec warrior striding toward them. Getting desperate he grabs Number Five and says the warrior can kill him, but he wants the talisman. Number Five informs him that he’s going to trick the warrior into killing him; he’s swallowed the talisman, so the warrior will have to cut it out of him to get it. Angry, Number Five grabs Angel and tosses him into another monument, meeting the warrior boldly.

When he strikes the warrior, the warrior strikes back, sending Number Five flying. He gets up and taunts the warrior again, and it draws it’s sword and attacks. Angel has grabbed a wrought iron stave from a fence and jumps in just as the warrior strikes at Number Five. Number Five watches as Angel battles the Aztec warrior, something dawning in his eyes. When the warrior gets Angel down and nearly has him, Number Five jumps in and attacks, allowing Angel time to get to his feet. The warrior stabs Number Five and Angel defends him as he staggers back to the grave of his brothers, leaving a bloody handprint on the monument.

Angel is tossed through the air again, coming to rest on the graves of the brothers- and a hand breaks through the ground. One by one the brothers rise, still wearing their masks, dirt on their shoulders. Angel stands by, watching. Number Five is amazed as the four clap and shout “Andele!”

With flair they run to the wrought iron fence Angel had plundered, each ripping off a stave. They run back, passing a bemused Angel; the last one tells him to hurry (“Amigo- andele!”) The brothers attack the warrior and Angel joins in. Two of the brothers launch a third into the air. With acrobatic flips he lands on the warrior’s shoulders, wrapping his legs around his neck and beating his face with his fists. Angel is annoyed- “We’re trying to kill it, not pin it!” With a mighty twist the brother flips the warrior over onto his back, and each brother uses the stave from the fence to secure a limb. Angel is impressed. “Okay, pinning works…” and dashes over to plunge his own stave into the heart of the warrior. The warrior dusts much like a vampire.

The battle over, Angel goes to see to Number Five. His brothers came back and he is worthy, even though the demon did not want his heart. Angel says it didn’t want his either, and Number Five tells him of course not; “Who would want that dried-up walnut of a dead thing?” Number Five asks for the coffee, and Angel is confused; Number Five hid the talisman in the coffee.

Angel gets the thermos, pours it out, and the talisman falls onto the ground. Number Five says that he may not be a hero, but he is not a fool. Angel looks up as the undead brothers come over; when he looks back at Number Five, the man is dead. He drops his head sadly, picking up the talisman and watching as the four brothers pick up the body of Number Five, stand on their grave- and fade away.

Angel remains for a few moments in silence.

Back at the office, he gives the talisman to Wesley, telling him to put it somewhere safe. He says its been a long day and he’ll see everyone in the morning, reassuring Fred that Number Five died a hero before he leaves, the gang moving out slowly.

Alone, Angel walks through his apartment, obviously something on his mind. He picks up a book, carries it across the room, takes a deep breath- and whispers to it.

“Shanshu prophecy- English translation.” The book opens and words fade into view on the page.

End Credits.

Rating and Comments:
Okay, I was really excited about this ep. I’m a closet wrestling fan, and the concept of hero luchadores really appealed to me. I liked how they led up to the episode (go back and watch the previous eps, I guarantee you’ll see Number Five in the background at least once each show), and even though it was a stand alone (there wasn’t even a “Previously on Angel” montage at the beginning!), it was nicely done.

I was really hoping for more action, however. The scene of the brothers fighting the Aztec warrior (I’m sorry, I can’t spell his name and I’m not going to try!) was too short, in my opinion; they could have shown a few more moves that the luchadores are famous for. If you’ve never seen a luchadore wrestle, trust me- it’s AMAZING. They’re so fast, and do things that you would SWEAR are physically impossible. (I *highly* recommend you tune in to WWE sometime and see a match- Rey Mysterio Jr. and Eddie Guerrero in particular. Rob Van Damm is supposedly considered a luchadore, but get him in the ring with REAL luchadores and he looks like a Clydesdale next to a bunch of Thoroughbreds.)

Overall, I was pleased but felt like it was lacking some spark. Plot wise it was solid but something about the execution left me wanting. However, I did like Angel’s speech to Number Five about being a champion and why they do it; in helping Number Five past his crisis of heart, I think it helped remind him of the real reason he chose to do what he does. (Forest for the trees much, Angel?)

I’d watch it again- and some day I might even learn how to spell the name of that Aztec warrior guy! (Pat, could I buy a vowel?)
Rating: 7 of 10
Written By: Staff Writer - shelbel

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