There's No Place Like Plrtz Glrb

 

Opening scene

Cordy is standing in front of Lorne's head, sustaining one loud, drawn-out scream until his eyes open and he starts to speak.
Lorne: "I realize this is a bit of a shock, but I can explain. Take it easy. Okay, get it out of your system. (Laughs a little) That's good. You have to breathe sometime. - Good lord, shut up, woman!"
Cordy finally quits screaming, and starts gasping for breath.
Lorne: "It's not like I have hands to cover my ears here, you know?"

She’s understandably freaked but Lorne calms her, explaining that his kind of demon can survive decapitated as long as the rest of the body remains intact.
Cordy stands in front of Lorne's head as two slaves come bursting in, summoned by her shrieks.
Cordy explains it as a royal meditation technique even going as far as giving a quick demonstration, then stops them from removing Lorne's head by making up a story,
she dismisses them with a sigh, then apologizes to Lorne, telling how unsettling this all is for her.
Lorne: "Oh, I'm sure it must be. And after all, I only lost my head! Technically my body."
Cordy: "Okay, I realize this is a trying experience but I really don't see how *yelling* at me - can help matters."
No, but taking him to the rest of his body before it gets mutilated will - which is what he orders her to do next.

The slaves tell Silas how up set Cordy was, and the head priest decides to add some more heads to *really* drive the message of who's in charge here home. He orders the Captain of the guard to hunt down Wes and Gunn and to kill Angel, who, as a Van-tal, or drinker of blood, can only be destroyed by fire, decapitation or a wooden spear through the heart, going on to remind him that his heart is where a cow's is - which the captain finds disgusting.
The other priest there with Silas is upset over Angel ignoring their laws and 'profaning their holy culture' by saving Fred, but Silas is more concerned that that act could give the 'cows' hope that they, too, could be free. Which leads to all kinds of inappropriate behavior, such as one of his personal slaves leaking information about a device (in the shape of a jeweled hand print on a console in this chamber) the priests have that lets them blow every slaves head off at the same time.
Silas claims that Markallo did him a favor by doing so, and thanks him by blowing his head off, before calmly asking the other slave to clean up the mess.


Day in the rebel camp,

Gunn and Wes have their heads clamped into a pair of stocks, their hands bound behind their backs.
Wesley apologizes to Gunn for ever opening his mouth, but Gunn, not ready to forgive or forget only tells Wes that he will go straight to hell, while Gunn himself with go to rest in the arms of the baby Jesus.
The rebels are about to execute Wes and Gunn, but are stopped by a detachment of palace guards that want that honor for themselves. During the ensuing fight Gunn and Wes use the heavy stocks clamped around their necks to knock out whatever guards make it through the rebels to them.


At Fred’s cave;

Angel is awakened by Fred returning with some Kalla berries that she uses to make the Crug-grain and thistles into something remotely resembling oatmeal.
He tells her that he slept fine, but Fred isn't convinced.
Angel: "What? (Looks down at his reflection for a moment before scooping up a handful of water to wash his face.) Did I snore?"
Nope, but Fred remembers some caterwauling, startling Angel by letting out a short shriek to give an example, but tells him that she didn't mind.
Fred: "Sometimes it just burbles up inside you and you have to - bellow a little. Do it all the time. No one's around to hear."
Fred assures him that all he needs to get better is some rest and care. Angel doesn't agree.
Fred: "Why wouldn't ya?"
Angel: "You saw what I turn into. - Back in LA it's bad. But here it's..."
Fred: "We all got our demons."
Angel doesn't look at her, just moves the spoon around in his oatmeal. Fred gets up and walks away from him.
Fred: "Okay, so - maybe you got a beast in you. But I know what it's like to be squirrelly and a freak with no one to..."
But apparently while she doesn't mind Angel's demon, she doesn't want to talk about her own so she quickly changes the subject to something as innocuous as food, telling him how she has been trying to make enchiladas out of tree bark.
Angel hurriedly shoves a spoonful in his mouth. Angel, only too willing to stop talking about personal demons, real or otherwise, asks her in that oh so dead-pan voice of his: "Bark enchiladas. Huh. - How's that going?"
Fred: "There is work to be done."


At the castle;
Cordy has called in one of her servants to secretly take her to the mutilation chamber. Marelda tells her that for 'the light that shines in the darkness on the land' to go there would defile her holy self and bring shame to the kingdom.
So after short reflection Cordy orders her to take off her clothes, which causes Lorne to open his eyes, abandoning his attempt to play dead.

Back at Fred’s cave

Fred is sitting a little ways away, mending some garment. Angel, standing in a little patch of sunshine inside the cave, remarks how he can't do that in LA without bursting into flames - part of the beast thing.
Fred: "So it's better for you here."
Angel: "Well - there is the sun (lifts his head to face the sun, then lowers it and steps out of the sunlight) but also the thing inside that wants to rip my friends apart."
Fed looks up at him for a moment, then goes back to mending the tunic she is holding on her lap.
Angel sighs and looks at the symbols covering the cave walls. he recognizes some of them from the portal spell, but Fred tells him matter of factly that they're not words but consonant representations of a mathematical transfiguration formula.
Angel after a beat: "Well, obviously."
And the way he said that made it absolutely clear that he actually had *no* clue what she was talking about.
She used to think that saying them out loud in the right order would open a portal to get her back, but that it just doesn't work from this side.
Fred: "I tried. For years and years - until my tongue was swollen and my head was all kaplooey. It doesn't work on this side."
But since Angel knows that it does he jumps to the conclusion that Fred actually *did* open portals, she just didn't know *where* on Pylea they opened.
Fred: "Me? I don't think so. The priests have all the power here."
As Angel turns back to look at the walls, one of the palace guards attacks Fed from behind. Angel spins around, grabs the guard and tosses him against the cave wall. Another guard attacks Angel, and then the Captain tries to run Angel through with a spear. Angel grabs the spear and deflects it so the Captain stabs the guard behind Angel with it instead.
The Captain hits Angel with his fist, pulls the spear free and uses it to beat up on Angel, who staggers back under the assault.
Angel's eyes suddenly take on a red glow. Fred cowers against one of the cave walls.
Angel: "Can't change. Won't change."
The glow slowly fades.
Angel manages to hold the demon off, but he pays a rather stiff price, as the Captain takes of his distraction to stab Angel's heart with his wooden spear.

Angel groans as the Captain pulls the spear back out.
Captain: "Missed the heart, did I?"
Runs Angel through again. Still no heart. Gets ready to try again, but suddenly collapses, revealing Fred behind him, holding a big boulder up above her head.
Fred crouches down beside Angel repeating over and over: "Please don't die. Please don't die." Angel passes out.


At the rebel camp;

The rebels kill the last of the fleeing guards, then realizing that if the guards were there to kill Gunn and Wes, they might have been telling the truth about not being in league with the priests' evil regime, so they cut them free and apologize for almost cutting off their heads.
Wesley tells them that they were just doing their jobs, freed they discuss their plans to find Angel and get home.

Back at the cave,

Fred is relieved when Angel regains consciousness as well as impressed at how fast he heals.

The captain sits in the corner tied up? He tells of plans to kill Cordelia after she mates with the Groosalugg, and that Lorne is already dead.
Angel pushes the Captain away and starts to move towards the exit.
Angel: "I have to go."
Fred: "It's too dangerous. They'll kill you."
Angel: "My friends are in trouble. One of them is already dead."
Fred: "But it's safe here. Out there it's..."
Angel turns around to look at her.
Fred: "It's safe here with me."
Angel quietly: "I'm sorry."
Meanwhile the Captain pulls a knife from his sleeve and cuts at the bonds around his wrists.
The captain takes advantage of Angel's preoccupation to attack. Angel pulls Fred out of the way, as Fred lets out a scream. Taking a hold of the Captain's knife hand he twists it around and stabs him in the gut with it. The Captain drops to the floor, dead. Angel goes over to Fred and pulls the hand clamped over her right upper arm away to get a look at the wound underneath.
Angel: "Alright. You'll be alright."


At the castle

Cordy, dressed in the servant's dress and carrying Lorne's head in a bucket sneaks into the dark mutilation chamber. She takes his head out to have a closer look at the pile of body parts heaped on a table. Some of them are dressed in Lorne's red French Viscose suit
Lorne: "Oh, god. Oh no!"
Cordy: "What? - Boy, that looks like your suit."
Lorne: "It *is* my suit! You think they have French Viscose in this hellhole? (Moans) - Why am I still alive? Once they chop me up it's over! I'm looking at pieces of myself! Oh, it's over! (Sobs) Wait a second. Since when do I have five toes?"
Hearing footsteps, Cordy presses herself into a dark corner, then asks Lorne if he'd mind if she hit the intruder over the head with him.
But to Cordy's great relief the intruder is no other than Groo, come to confess the terrible crime he committed because he couldn't stand to see her suffer: he put Lorne's suit on another body and smuggled Lorne's body back to his mom's farm. Which earn him a spontaneous hug from Cordy, forgetting that she's still holding Lorne's head.
Lorne: "Ouff! - Feels like somebody works out."
Cordy steps back with a smile for Groo and holds up Lorne's head so he can thank Groo as well, then gives Groo yet another hug when he informs her that Landok will be taking Lorne's head there as well - this time banging Lorne's head against a pillar.
Lorne: "Ouch! - Watch the head!"


At the rebel camp;

Wesley offers suggestions for attacking the castle and unintentionally gets made their leader

At the cave;

Angel is tying a bandage around Fred's arm, then tells her that he has to go.
Fred: "Help your friends. - I know. - You're a good man."
They look at each other for a moment then Angel turns and walks out of the cave.
Fred slowly walks across the cave and sits down with her back against the wall, looks down at the ground.
Angel comes back in.
Angel: "I - don't actually know how to get there."
But instead of giving him directions, Fred just gets up, offering to show him

At the castle;

Cordy, back in her princess garb is sitting on a step. Groo is pacing in the Throne room, still fretting that he will burn in Tarkna his 'sin' of acting against the priests wishes. Cordy tells him that they are running an evil regime and need to be disobeyed, but Groo tells her that it isn't his duty to question authority.
Cordy: "Hold on there. You're groosalug, the brave and undefeated champion, if it's not your duty to fight evil than I don't know what is."
Groo: "I fight who I'm told. - I'm not a real champion!"
Cordy: "Then it is time you stopped working for Monk-boy and became one. What you did for me and my friend that was pure champ - all the way."
Groo: "I am unworthy of lifting your burden, highness."
Cordy: "Nonsense, you're way worthy. - What burden is that again?"
Which is when we and Cordy find out just *why* Cordy is safe from the priests only until after com-shuking the groosalug: during it his demon blood will absorb her visions.
Cordy turns away from him: "Ugh! I *knew* there was a catch! - You can't take my visions! I need them! I-I use them to help my friends fight evil back home!"
Groo: "And I will use them here to fight evil, just as you have done."
Cordy: "Groo - I can't give up my visions. - I *like* them. Okay, I don't like the searing pain and agony that is steadily getting worse."
Groo: "You are pure human. - You are not meant to carry such a burden."
Cordy: "Maybe not. - But I'm not ready to give them up either. - They're a part of who I am now. They're an honor. And you know - the visions, they only last for like a..."
Cordy puts a hand to her head as she gets hit by a vision. Groo manages to keep her from falling as she gets some blurry images of Groo lying on the ground, a growling beast on top of him.
Cordy: "No. No."

At the rebel camp

Wesley, Gunn and the rebels are developing a battle plan. Wes plans to use a challenge to get Groo out of the castle, which, as the champion of the realm, is something he had to respond to, and worry about the fact that no man can actually hope to defeat him later. Then a few of them will scale the walls where the defenses are at their weakest under the cover of three separate diversions.
Gunn: "I wouldn't split my crew up this much if I was leading this charge."
Wesley: "I'm leading this charge. Tell me about the killing device."
So Sasha tells him about how the priests can blow every slaves head off anytime they chose.
Wesley: "If Silas thinks he's losing he'll use it. We have to get to him before he does."
Sasha: "The castle is well guarded."
Angel: "Unlike this place."
Angel steps out from behind a tree, followed by Fred. Rebels draw weapons and converge on them, one of them dropping out of the very tree Angel just past to land behind them. Wesley forestalls an attack by reassuring the rebels that Angel is a friend.
Sasha: "Glad we were keeping watch."
Gunn: "He's Angel. He does that. (Points at Fred) How she do that?"
Angel: "She's Fred. She does that, too."
Angel makes the introductions (though Wes already guessed that Fred is the girl from Cordy's vision). Wes starts to introduce the rebels they have joined forces with only to notice that they've all gone to check and make sure no one else will just walk in on them.
Wesley tries to hand the leadership over to Angel, or at least to have him take a look at his battle plans and see if he can think of something better.
Angel: "No, Wes, I-I can't... - You know what happens to me. (Looks down) I-I'm sorry... (Looks at Gunn) ...ashamed of what I did to you."
Gunn: "It's kind of a crazy place here. - The sooner we all get out of here the better."
Angel tells them that Fred knows a lot about the portals and might be able to help them get home. Landok arrives at the camp with a large basket over his shoulder.
He opens the basket and holds it out towards them. They take a few hesitant steps closer and peer down into the basket, Fred peeking out from behind Angel. Lorne's head lies in the basket, eyes closed.
We get a shot of the four of them as if we were looking up at them from inside the basket.
Angel: "He was..."
Gunn: "Yeah."
Wesley: "Hmm."
Lorne's eyes pop open: "That's it?"
Angel, Gunn and Wes all recoil with a scream, leaving Fred the only one still framed by the rim of the basket, peering down - completely unmoved.
Lorne: "Where is the praising and extolling of my virtues? Where's the love?"
The round circle of the basket rim blends into a shot of the full moon up in the night sky Wesley is sitting in front of a fire, leaning on an unsheathed sword.
Gunn: "I'm only gonna say this once. The guys you send to create those diversions are gonna die."
Wesley after a beat: "Yes they are. (Gets up and looks at Gunn) You try not to get anybody killed you wind up getting everybody killed."

Wesley tells Angel he must challenge and kill the Groosalugg. Angel explains that he’s afraid to change into the demon because he doesn’t think he can come back to human after it. Wesley has confidence that he can, he’s strong enough to do whatever is necessary.


Angel and Wes look at each other for a long moment.
Fred: "I could go with you. I know how to prepare the challenge torch."
Wesley puts a hand on Angel's shoulder.
Wesley: "You'll come back."
Angel looks over at Gunn, whose face remains expressionless, then he and Fred leave.
Gunn to Wes: "You really think he'll come back?"
Wesley turning to leave: "I need *him* to think it."
Gunn stares after Wesley, looking more than a little troubled.

At the castle;

Cordy is reclining on a lounger, with Groo sitting on the edge of it, wanting very much to help her recover from her latest vision, but all Cordy wants is a promise for him not to fight that ugly green demon she saw in her vision.
Silas comes in, pleased to see that they are apparently progressing towards mating, and tells them to get on with it.
When Cordy refuses to do so, he threatens to encourage her but is stopped by a priest running in, telling him that he needs to see what is happening out in the village - which is Angel carrying a burning triple-torch.
Angel: "I challenge the groosalug to mortal combat."
Angel glances back at Fred, who was mouthing the words along with him. Fred gives him two thumbs up.
Angel: "Come out and face me you spineless coward!"
Fred: "Uh! Why'd you add that coward thing? That's really gonna piss him off."
Fred goes to hide behind a market stand.

Silas orders Groo to accept the challenge, shutting the door in Cordy's face and completely ignoring her warnings and protests.

Groo looks out the window at the challenge torch.
Groo: "Who calls me out?"
Silas: "Do you love your princess?"
Groo: "More than I thought possible."
Silas: "If this *filth* should win - he will ravage - and he will defile her. - He will use her for his pleasure again - and again. - And when she has no more screaming in her - he will *kill* her."
Groo: "He will *not*! He will die!"
Wes and the rest of the rebels, hiding in the bushes, watch as the news that the groosalug has been challenged lure several guards away.
Wes sends the groups staging the diversions off, and shortly after we hear guards reporting attacks at both the south gate and the north wall.
Wesley crouches down next to Bartok and looks at him. Bartok looks from Wesley to the guards left in front of the gate, then rises and charges yelling: "Death to the state! - Death to the state!"
Two more rebels follow him to engage the remaining guards as Wesley looks down to the ground. Then signals for the others to follow him.
Gunn throws a grappling hook up over the wall and begins to scale it. Two rebels charge the gate with a battering ram.
One of the rebels fighting the guards lets out a scream as a sword slices across his stomach.

The groosalug arrives at the village square in a chariot, takes off his gloves, walks up on the podium and holds his hand into the flames of the torch.
Angel: "This guy - he doesn't feel pain?"
Fred: "Oh, he-he feels it, but - he's the groosalug. He overcomes all things. - Good luck."
Ducks down behind an empty market stand.
Groo: "You will die, barbarian!"
Groo walks over to a rack to pick up an ax and a club and goes to attack Angel, who barely manages to get a few kicks and hits in between the ones he receives from Groo.
Angel is hit hard in the stomach and flies backwards onto the ground. Groo follows up with a downward swing of his ax.

Angel manages to avoid the ax, get back to his feet and attack Groo in return, but soon gets kicked through the air again. The flies through the tarp of the market stand Fred is hiding behind and lands on the ground not far from her.
Fred: "You can't hold back! You'll die!"
Angel: "Not holding back - holding on."
Silas is walking down a corridor, and a priest hurries up to him. But no sooner has he gotten his warning about the rebels out, than Wes, Gunn and a couple of rebels show up. A couple of palace guards intercept them and the priests scoot down the corridor.
A nicely choreographed sword-fight sequence follows during which the outnumbered infiltrators eventually finish off the guards.

Silas runs into the priests' chamber, where Cordy is waiting to plead with him to stop the fight before the ugly monster kills Groo. Instead Silas hits her hard across the face, sending her reeling to the ground.
Silas: "This is all your fault! (Grabs her by the throat and pulls her up to face him) You think you can *destroy* our way of life? Think again! I will kill every cow in the world before I allow that to happen. (Pulls the cloth off the killing device) Everyone of you."
Pushes her away. Cordy crashes against a bookcase and drops to the floor.

Groo and Angel are still fighting in the square, with Angel barely holding his own. Groo kicks Angel back to the ground next to some posts. Angel comes back up with a sturdy stick in his hand, but before he can use it, Groo whips out one of those things the old demon man used to capture Cordy. It winds itself around the wrist of Angel's right hand, tying it tightly against one of the posts, and causing him to drop the stick.
Groo walks up and starts to bludgeon Angel with his cudgel.
Groo: "You would defile her! You animal!"
Groo keeps pounding on Angel. Fred hides her face behind her hand.
Angel is hanging by his right wrist, still tethered firmly against the post, and Groo lowers his cudgel.
Angel slowly lifts his head to look at him - and morphs into the Angel-beast.
The guards' horses rear, almost unseating them.
Groo swings the cudgel but the Angel-beast catches it in its left hand, then tosses Groo across the square before ripping its right hand free.
Groo barely manages to get to his feet before the beast pounces on him in one incredible leap.
Cordy is swaying in front the bookcase, her head lowered. Silas' hand is hovering over the killing device. Wes, followed by Gunn, Bartok and Sasha come charging in.
Silas: "You're a little late."
Lowering his sword he orders the rebels to stand down, then tells Silas that he doesn't have to do this.
Silas: "I don't have to - but I'm going to. (Cordy slowly straightens up behind him) And you and your filthy cow-princess can go straight..."
Cordy swings the sword she has picked up as hard as she can and Silas' head goes flying off his neck.
Cordy: "Your cow-princess is tired of hearing you yak, padre."
Gunn: "Nice going."
Cordy: "These guys *stay* dead without a head?"
Sasha: "Oh yeah."
Reassured on that head, Cordy wants to get to the village and save Groo from the terrible beast he is facing.
Wesley: "Actually the beast he's facing is Angel."

Groo is getting mauled, barely managing to keep the beast away from his throat as the two of them roll around in the dirt. The beast pins him down and Groo squeezes his eyes shut, awaiting the inevitable. The beast pulls its clawed hand off Groo's face and Groo opens his eyes to look up at Angel, back in his human face.
Angel: "We're not gonna do this. We're gonna find another way."
Angel backs off from Groo.
Angel: "I'm not an animal."
Cordy comes running, yelling for them to stop and Groo takes advantage of Angel's distraction to sit up and punch - hard, sending him reeling backwards.
Angel: "Alright. What part of me being all noble here - didn't get through?"
Cordy runs up between them.
Cordy: "Stop. Stop the fight. Don't hurt him. Stop. (Looks at Groo) I love him. I love him."
Angel: "You love me?"
Cordy frowns at Angel: "Not you, dumb ass. Him! I love him!"
Cordy gives Groo a quick hug.
Angel: "Oh."
Cordy: "Lay down your weapons! Silas is dead. All priests have been defeated. Any guard who harms a human from this day forth shall have to answer to me!"
Angel: "She loves me, too, right?"

Cordy hugs Groo again: "Are you okay? - Did he hurt you?"
Angel: "As a friend and co-worker."
Cordy: "Can I get some medical attention around here, people?"
Angel: "Maybe love is too strong a term."

The next day,

The double Pylean suns are shining up in the sky. Lorne happily all in one piece, says his goodbyes to his family.

Lorne walks out of one of the rooms at his mom's farm, twisting his neck, to where Angel is waiting for him. Lorne is actually glad he came back to find out he doesn’t belong there .

They start walking down the path leading away from the farm, and Lorne starts to sing "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" causing two people that were doing something at the side of the road further down, to clap their hands over their ears and sink to the ground, groaning.

At the castle,

Cordy is pacing in front of her throne, holding an ax in her hands. Groo stands behind her. There are human servants present, none wearing a collar, and a priest.
Cordy: "I have a vision. Actually I have two visions, and in one of them you get to keep your head."
The priest gets the message and Cordy has him write down a memo declaring all citizens to be created equal and outlawing slavery and religious persecution. She then smashed the 'jeweled hand' console (Wes, Fred, and Gunn come hurrying in, each one holding one of the Wolf, Ram and Hart books, reporting their success in controlling where Fred on this world is opening portals. All they have to do now, is take the books to Angel's car have Fred say the words.
Priest: "Those are sacred books! (Cordy looks at him) Which *you* should have - as a small memento."
Cordy walks up to Groo.
Cordy: "You're in charge now. You got a long road ahead. (Leads him up the steps to the throne) Slavery has ended but - reconstruction has just begun."
But Groo has no idea what reconstruction means, and Cordy asks Gunn to explain it to him.
Cordy takes Groo's face between her hands and they kiss. Wes and Gunn look down, but Fred watches, a big smile spreading across her face.
Cordy finishes the kiss, patting Groo on the cheek. He picks up her cloak and drapes it over her shoulders, and wishes her god speed.
Cordy walks down the steps and across the room towards the others, smiling as the people on both sides of the aisle bow and say 'your majesty.'
The others fall in behind her as they walk out.
Wesley: "Should people be bowing in a free society?"
Cordy: "These things take time."

At the Caritas,
A slight wind tinkles the glasses in a deserted Caritas. The curtain behind the stage starts to billow. White spots of light appear and coalesce to form a portal. Angel's convertible comes barreling through with Angel, Cordy and Wes in the front, Gunn, Fred and Lorne in the back, all of them screaming. Angel manages to stop the car as it rams into the bar after crashing through the tables in front of the stage.
Lorne: "You know I've been thinking about remodeling the bar. - Who's up for a nightcap?"
They all get up out of the car.
Hyperion, night. Cordy, Fred and the guys are entering the garden court, talking and smiling. As they get to the door leading into the hotel Angel pushes towards the front of the group.
Angel smiling: "Okay. Can I say it? I wanna say it."
Wesley: "Say what?"
Angel pushes the double doors open, walking into the lobby.
Angel: "There's no place like..."
Trails off as he sees Willow sitting hunched up on one of the chairs in the lobby.
Angel's smile vanishes as Willow looks up at him.
Angel: "Willow?"
Cordy: "What's..?"
Willow slowly gets up, never taking her eyes of Angel.
Angel quietly: "It's Buffy."

 
Rating and Comments:
This eps is one of my fav. PYLEA triptych ; being the last of season 2 it makes you look back on what had happened to each character during this season and how they let themselves reaffirm the answers they had reached previously.

I’m looking forward to see season 3 ; expecting the humor, the angst , the ass kicking and the teamwork. Fighting the evil and doing redemption. A serie with depth, feelings; emotions ; friendship; love and maybe romance.
Rating: This one gets a 8/10 – not a real cliffhanger to end the season but very good acted and leaving us with some question marks how will Angel react on this News, and how will Fred fit in the new season to come.
Written By: Staff - Setje

 

 

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